Starting college can be stressful for many first-year students for various reasons. Whether it be adapting to a new environment or learning to balance a harder workload. Freshman year of college is a time of new experiences and learning lessons.

One nerve-racking experience for a first-year student is getting their first roommate. It’s where first impressions are everything, boundaries are blurry and compromise is your most valuable tool. 

My experience transitioning into freshman housing certainly wasn’t smooth. I had just moved away from home, and for the first time, I was on my own.

I am an only child and quite reserved overall. So, going into college, I was nervous but excited to navigate this new social world. I had never lived on my own, let alone with someone I didn’t know. 

Like every other student, I powered through the initial nerves and homesickness and began to enjoy my first night of freedom. I had met my roommate that day and she was sweet, but we had clashing personalities.

We went over ground rules and introductions, and I volunteered to decorate the bathroom. That day, I purchased a white rug, a shower curtain, and other white decor. After decorating, I left the dorm to hang out with some new friends. 

When I came home that night, I walked into the bathroom and was met with a bright pink explosion.

My roommate had decided to dye her hair pink and subsequently, the whole bathroom. All the new things I had bought that day were now stained and ruined. I was confused and lost on how to handle this situation. I had just met this girl, and now I had to confront her about ruining our bathroom. 

As someone who was scared and had never confronted a roommate before, I texted her. She responded with remorse, explaining that she felt terrible. She then offered to replace the items in the bathroom. I was relieved to know that just a minor confrontation and setting boundaries could help fix these situations. For the rest of the summer, I had no more problems in my dorm, but I hadn’t necessarily found my new best friend either.

Living with a roommate helps you set boundaries and understand others. Had it not been for my bathroom being turned pink and many other experiences with various roommates, I never would have learned to advocate for myself and set boundaries. 

A necessary part of setting boundaries is creating a positive environment. This will make it easier to have productive and complicated conversations. 

It’s important to address situations calmly and collectedly so that other parties don’t become defensive. When living with someone, compromise can be your greatest tool. We all have things that other people do that we don’t like and vice versa, but if we remain understanding and open to different perspectives, a middle ground can be met. 

Having a roommate teaches you how to speak up and find solutions that work. 

Not every roommate situation is identical. Sometimes you go through the semester with a new built-in friend and other semesters you live with someone’s face you can barely remember. 

If you’re lucky enough, you might even get a completely pink bathroom on your first night. However, in the majority of cases, living with someone teaches you how to coexist with different people.