What Valentines day is really about
Valentine’s Day has always been about roses, chocolates and romance. It’s a holiday dedicated to showing your significant other just how special they are. It has also turned into a holiday where we now judge how much our boyfriend or girlfriend loves us by the number of flowers or the size of the stuffed animal they buy for us.
David Coleman, the “Dating Doctor” and Campus Activities Magazine’s 13-time speaker of the year, spoke on campus Feb. 4 in the Cohen Center Ballroom about “Making Relationships Matter.” Coleman defined the word romance as performing an ordinary act of love or kindness at an unexpected time. Ladies and gentlemen, this means that you can show your love every day of the year, not just on Valentine’s Day.
“A guaranteed way to show you care,” Coleman said, “is to give [your significant other] their gift the day before Valentine’s Day and say, ‘You’re so special, you shouldn’t have to wait another day to know it.’”
Putting traditional gifts aside, Coleman also suggests that “experiences beat gifts,” or simply having an experience with that person beats getting an object to represent affection. An example of these experiences are outings such as, picnics, spa getaways, having a movie night or any others you think of. Homemade (or store bought) coupon books are another great way to show your affection. You can include coupons such as, “One night of doing the dishes without complaining” or a “30-minute back rub.”
If you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and you’re willing to mingle, get together with your friends to throw a Single Awareness Day (or S.A.D. as Coleman calls it) party. Have your single friends who you have invited bring one or two additional single friends. Before you know it, you may be really into someone that you would have never met had your friend not brought that person.
Among other topics Coleman touched on in his lecture, one that stood out was the “Nine Signs You’re Being Hit On.” This is especially relevant when looking for cuties at that S.A.D. party. First is eye contact, and it works something like this. You notice someone you find attractive across the room at a party, they look away, then back at you and hold your glance for the count of one second. Then they change their position in the room so you have to search for them. Second, they avoid using cheesy player tactics or pickup lines. Following that, they have something called “Moosh Brain” and find it hard to talk whenever they’re around you. They use the “Three Contact Method”: looking at you, looking away and looking at their phone. They smile, laugh and banter with you, even if that joke you made wasn’t that funny. They break the touch barrier, and might nudge you or playfully slap your arm. They’ll ask you about your plans later on that day. Stay within the same area that you normally would and then they’ll try their luck and ask you to go out sometime.
Whether you’ll be with your lover for this Valentine’s Day or flying solo, remember that it’s not all about the glitz and glamor of expensive chocolates and diamond earrings. Spend some downtime with your loved one and show them you really care by being there for them. Throughout this week, try out some of the ideas and tell me which ones worked for you by tweeting me @AllieTaylorEN and using the hashtag #VDaywithAllie. Have a happy and romance-filled Valentine’s Day!