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The South is rising: Will Florida split?

Just as the ancient nautical metropolis of Atlantis sank into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, so too will the city of Miami in due time.

That’s the major concern of South Miami Mayor Phillip Stoddard this week as a serious secession movement is under way.

If the secession movement is successful, the state would be split down the middle: from Orlando down would be South Florida and upwards of that would be North Florida.

Yes, that does mean Disney World will be part of the new state.

We all know that the United States is obsessed with splitting itself into smaller and smaller pieces. What started as 13 colonies became 50 states; in recent years, movements have even been issued to split California, Colorado, Texas and Vermont for decades. The US is basically a giant Russian nesting doll.

However, this notion feels more serious to Floridians.

Most of southern Florida’s issues aren’t political but environmental, and are mainly ignored by the big wigs in Tallahassee. This results in fewer bills being passed to save the environment or to build sea walls to stop the swelling oceans from swallowing Miami and other southern Florida cities into it’s salty gullet.

Also, 67 percent of Florida’s population resides in South Florida, which means the concerns that never reach Tallahassee represent the majority of citizens.

It’s clear that the central government would rather saw off it’s southern half and be done with it. And it doesn’t help that Rick “I’m no scientist” Scott doesn’t give a sink about climate change.

With the new state, the government wouldn’t be so far away from the concerned South Floridians and environmental issues would probably be addressed with more force.

Since South Florida is scheduled to be an archipelago in less than 200 years, it’s good to see that the region is trying to take things into their own hands and take a stand.

As long as this isn’t like the “South” of our forefathers, I think the secession would be beneficial overall. You can even tell the grandkids that back in your day, there was only one Florida!

About The Author

Luke Janke

Luke Janke is a super senior studying journalism at FGCU. When he’s not listening to podcasts, he’s busy producing his own podcast, Full Pulp. Concerts and music are at the forefront of his horizon, and when there’s an ounce of free time you’ll find him in his home studio laying down tracks for his music project, Bull Moose Party. As a self-proclaimed nihilist, his affinity for death is emphasized by the authentic squirrel skull found on his desk in the newsroom.

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