I went Paleo recently, after hearing some of my friends raving about the new fad diet and literally calling it “life.” Letting excitement get the better of me, I jumped right onto the bandwagon. I went on Pinterest to get a general idea of what being Paleo really meant, and now I regret making the switch in the first place.
The Paleo diet takes your eating habits back to prehistoric times. As the name suggests, your diet consists of fruits, nuts (except for peanuts), protein-rich meats and seafood. While you might be thinking, “Oh, wow, that sounds really healthy,” and it seems that way, there is a vast majority of foods, which you are not allowed to eat. These consist of any dairy products, — including ice cream, which made me cry — legumes such as snap peas, green beans and edamame, processed foods, artificial and natural sweeteners, starches, grains and anything that is heavenly and delicious.
I started out my first day with the gusto that I was hoping for, making myself scrambled eggs with a big glass of lemon water. I felt full and confident as I snacked on vegetable chips later that day, without really eating any food with substance. Later, I had yellow rice and beans, and soon realized that I ruined one meal without even noticing. “It’s okay, I’ll just pray to the Paleo gods for forgiveness and all will be right,” I thought.
The next day, without much confidence left, I was still determined. I marched down to the grocery store and picked up bags of kale, spinach, peppers, berries, trail mix and other Paleo items. When I got home, I fixed up what I thought would be Paleo-appropriate — hold on to your hats; it was a salad. I went out for the night, and ate chicken broth with mushrooms when I got home.
By the third day, I felt like a zombie starving for brains — replace brains with pizza. I tried to steer my mind away from the cravings and drank enough water to drown out even the slightest bit of hunger. On day four, I started seeing the light dying at the end of the tunnel. I kept up the diet through the day, but I promised myself that I would find another lifestyle that worked better for me.
On day five, I threw caution to the wind, made potato pancakes and soft-boiled eggs for breakfast and drank a medium Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar.