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A personal account coming to terms with grief


My dad passed away a year ago and I am still grieving.
It’s shocking how fast a year goes by; how much happens over the span of 12 months and how much you grow as a person. It’s hard to wrap my mind around how quickly things can change in a day, yet alone 365 of them.
It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I haven’t seen my dad for a year now, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.
It has been exactly a year since I have heard his laugh or have seen his face. So much has happened since he has left.  I don’t ever think I will grow used to the feeling I get when something amazing happens in my life and my dad is the first person I want to call and tell.
Though an entire year has passed, my father’s absence still weighs heavy on my heart. There is no step by step program you can go through in order to “cure” yourself of the sadness that comes with losing someone close to you.
How can someone be here one day and then gone forever the next? It’s an eerie thought. This past year was a rough one, but looking back on it I can’t help but realize how huge of role my father still played in it. I hardly think it’s coincidental that I’ve had so many successes and have found my own voice the same year I gained my father as a guardian angel.
Losing my father was a great loss but it also was a great gain. In losing my father I gained a greater sense of appreciation for those I have not yet lost. I have gained a better sense of self and confidence like I’ve never had before.
I have learned to truly cherish every moment I spend with the ones I love and to never let a single person leave my company without having gained something or knowing that I care about them. Time is a fragile thing and sometimes it takes a great loss for you to realize how precious a gift it is and just how quickly things can change.
Coming to terms with my grief doesn’t mean that it’s no longer there. It doesn’t mean I will wake up tomorrow and it will be as if his death never occurred. I won’t ever forget the inspiring life my father had or the impact he made on my life and on other’s. It doesn’t mean that I won’t cry every now and then when I think of him. Coming to terms with my grief means that I will get out of bed every day and choose to live my life in a way that would make my father proud.
After all, the best way to honor our lost loved ones is to share with others how they touched our lives with the amount of time we were given with them. They live on through our memories and through our accomplishments in our own lives. They will always share a special place in our hearts and they have taught us what it really means to be strong.
They are still with us every step of the way through this fragile thing we call life.

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