There is so much going on in the world. People are dying, people are losing their rights. There is much to be said about those issues, and your uncle may not be the most qualified person to be speaking about such things.
For some families, Thanksgiving is not fun. Some people might not look forward to spending time with family. There are many archetypes of family members to decode and avoid. I’m here to make sure you avoid as many awkward interactions as possible.
To begin solving the issues, we must be able to identify where they’re coming from. These issues come from certain archetypes.
The first archetype is the political family member. You just want to eat some mashed potatoes, but your uncle wants to tell you how he would fix the issues in the Middle East. He’s also referring to people in offensive and outdated terms.
What you need to do is compare this serious situation to sports. Depending on your uncle’s age, you need to know what team evokes the most emotion. You might need to ask his thoughts on the 1985 Bears or the 1996 Bulls. If that doesn’t work, talk about Victor Wembanyama. He’s very tall and your uncle will explain to you how he’d be in the NBA if it weren’t for some vague injury his senior year.
Unfortunately, after minutes of sports conversation, the conversation will move to talk about the Kardashians. You’re going to hear the most misogynistic statements you’ve ever heard in your life. Let him know that Skims is now an official partner of the NBA, and you’ll hear more stories about Paul Pierce and other prehistoric athletes.
There’s also your judgmental aunt. You finally left the house and now you’re in college. You now have a tattoo and a nose piercing. You change your major from engineering to something in the arts. You’re finding yourself, but unfortunately, your aunt has found you and has a million questions like “So what will you even do with your major?” and “Whatever happened to [ex that cheated on you in high school]?”
The thing about your annoying aunt is she’s alone. Remind her that she’s alone. Ask her for some recent dating stories. The conversation will fizzle, just like her love life.
Your grandma wants grandkids. She’s going to repeatedly ask why you haven’t given her any. You need to be blunt. Let her know that you’re a poor college student. Let her know that her peer’s voting choices have destroyed the economy and the planet.
Everyone will be shocked by your candor, but the key is to make eye contact with everyone and laugh it off. Nothing saves an uncomfortable moment more than a well-timed giggle.
If that doesn’t work, find your cousin that you love.
Your next battle will be with your little cousin. He’s been listening to the red pill podcast and he’s asking all the women at the house “what they bring to the table.” There’s nothing you can do here. Break his iPad, I guess.
Instead of subjecting yourself to future pain, you should go on a walk with your favorite cousin. It will give you time to clear your mind.
At the end of the day, you’re probably going to have uncomfortable conversations when groups of people with different views are in the same room. Try your best to remind your relatives to be thankful for each other this holiday season.
